Blog   Winners Use The Language Of Inclusion, Losers Use Exclusion


We are all familiar in the home-based industry with the word leverage; it’s really the point of the business.  Yet very few people, those would be the top earners, learn to leverage language.

The subconscious mind makes all the decisions, on this there is no argument.  Surprisingly, while there is no argument on this point very few people consider what a profound effect language has in our relationships with reps, customers and prospects.

Psycho-therapists J. Mitchell Perry maintains and my experience validates that words are small objects that have a profound impact on objects there directed at…. Reps, prospects and customers.


In studying Perry I discovered there are two modes of speech.

One is inclusion the other is exclusion.

Example ::::> Ask a kid and the parents, who just walked out of Disney World, how it was and the kid’s response will probably be “It was great!”

Most parents would say, “It wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t a crowded as I expected, the prices where not to steep, really not a bad deal at all.”

The child’s language is the language of inclusion.  He is telling you what is while the parent is telling you what isn’t.  The child’s language is constructive while the parent’s language is constraining.

Perry points out that most adults become habitual users of exclusion language, which is the vocabulary of doubt, absence, equivocation and diminution.

I was stunned as I examined this further because the language of exclusion creates hesitancy, anxiety and fear, which we all know, is not good for prospects, reps we are trying to coach or customers.


Simply by examining everyday phrases that I used I was shocked to find out how much exclusionary language I used….. Remembering that the subconscious mind makes all the decisions I quickly saw why I was not getting a higher percentage of enrolments for myself and for my teammates.

Could it be that simple?

I listened to myself and others for about a week and then simply changed the phrases I used all that time from exclusionary to inclusionary.  Enrollment doubled.  Case Closed.

Someone asks, “How’s it going?”

Do you say,  “I can’t complain.”  Or do you say, “I feel good.”

When a rep says, “Can you do this for me?”  Do you say, “No problem.” Or do you say, “It’s a pleasure.”

When we say “no problem,” we are putting a NO in the person’s and we are putting the word PROBLEM in their head.  Remember the subconscious makes all the decisions.  We want them to say yes but we have put both the word “no” and the word “problem” into their subconscious about us or the business… constantly seeding our language with inclusionary statements, even in non-business related situations, this becomes the ‘currency’ of dealing with us…..and more people say yes more often to folks who exhibit ‘inclusionary’ language than ‘exclusionary language.

Most people say.. “no problem”….meaning we’ll do it …..but is it exclusionary language and the more inclusionary ….. the more people will feel included and, subconsciously, being included is what we all want…..being excluded is what none of us want.

This may seem minor.  Winners use inclusionary language and get more enrolments.  What is minor is the change that we need to make.  What is major is the results that it yields.

Exclusion language, remember, creates hesitancy and anxiety because it’s based on, subconsciously, what isn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, can’t and won’t.

Exclusion language               vs.                    Inclusion language

I can’t complain.                                               I feel good.

I can’t argue with that.                                   I agree.

I couldn’t ask for more.                                I’m pleased

I don’t see why not.                                      Let’s do it.

No problem                                                    It’s a pleasure.

That’s not bad.                                              That’s good.

That’s not what I am saying.                    Here’s what I’m saying.


W. Clement Stone, the man who made Napoleon Hill rich and “Thing and Grow Rich” famous, preached that it was little hinges that swung open big doors.  These tiny changes in vocabulary have an enormous impact on the subconscious mind of the people you are trying to influence and, the extended benefit is they’ll an equally enormous impact on you.



People want to be a part of something bigger …..feeling included it bigger…..make your language inclusionary so your words, their subconscious and what you are offering are aligned.


Mark Januszewski

The World’s Laziest Networker

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