We are all familiar in the home-based industry with the word leverage; it’s really the point of the business.  Yet very few people, those would be the top earners, learn to leverage language.

The subconscious mind makes all the decisions, on this there is no argument.  Surprisingly, while there is no argument on this point very few people consider what a profound effect language has in our relationships with reps, customers and prospects.

Psycho-therapists J. Mitchell Perry maintains and my experience validates that words are small objects that have a profound impact on objects there directed at…. Reps, prospects and customers.


In studying Perry I discovered there are two modes of speech.

One is inclusion the other is exclusion.

Example ::::> Ask a kid and the parents, who just walked out of Disney World, how it was and the kid’s response will probably be “It was great!”

Most parents would say, “It wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t a crowded as I expected, the prices where not to steep, really not a bad deal at all.”

The child’s language is the language of inclusion.  He is telling you what is while the parent is telling you what isn’t.  The child’s language is constructive while the parent’s language is constraining.

Perry points out that most adults become habitual users of exclusion language, which is the vocabulary of doubt, absence, equivocation and diminution.

I was stunned as I examined this further because the language of exclusion creates hesitancy, anxiety and fear, which we all know, is not good for prospects, reps we are trying to coach or customers.


Simply by examining everyday phrases that I used I was shocked to find out how much exclusionary language I used….. Remembering that the subconscious mind makes all the decisions I quickly saw why I was not getting a higher percentage of enrolments for myself and for my teammates.

Could it be that simple?

I listened to myself and others for about a week and then simply changed the phrases I used all that time from exclusionary to inclusionary.  Enrollment doubled.  Case Closed.

Someone asks, “How’s it going?”

Do you say,  “I can’t complain.”  Or do you say, “I feel good.”

When a rep says, “Can you do this for me?”  Do you say, “No problem.” Or do you say, “It’s a pleasure.”

When we say “no problem,” we are putting a NO in the person’s and we are putting the word PROBLEM in their head.  Remember the subconscious makes all the decisions.  We want them to say yes but we have put both the word “no” and the word “problem” into their subconscious about us or the business…..by constantly seeding our language with inclusionary statements, even in non-business related situations, this becomes the ‘currency’ of dealing with us…..and more people say yes more often to folks who exhibit ‘inclusionary’ language than ‘exclusionary language.

Most people say.. “no problem”….meaning we’ll do it …..but is it exclusionary language and the more inclusionary ….. the more people will feel included and, subconsciously, being included is what we all want…..being excluded is what none of us want.

This may seem minor.  Winners use inclusionary language and get more enrolments.  What is minor is the change that we need to make.  What is major is the results that it yields.

Exclusion language, remember, creates hesitancy and anxiety because it’s based on, subconsciously, what isn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, can’t and won’t.

Exclusion language               vs.                    Inclusion language

I can’t complain.                                               I feel good.

I can’t argue with that.                                   I agree.

I couldn’t ask for more.                                I’m pleased

I don’t see why not.                                      Let’s do it.

No problem                                                    It’s a pleasure.

That’s not bad.                                              That’s good.

That’s not what I am saying.                    Here’s what I’m saying.


W. Clement Stone, the man who made Napoleon Hill rich and “Thing and Grow Rich” famous, preached that it was little hinges that swung open big doors.  These tiny changes in vocabulary have an enormous impact on the subconscious mind of the people you are trying to influence and, the extended benefit is they’ll an equally enormous impact on you.



People want to be a part of something bigger …..feeling included it bigger…..make your language inclusionary so your words, their subconscious and what you are offering are aligned.


Mark Januszewski

The World’s Laziest Networker

About the Author

  • Mark that makes good sense. I’m going to track what I say this week. I would be willing to bet I use Exclusive language more often. Would you maybe consider exclusive language a type of “slang” to the english language?

    I’m on the lookout for each of your blog posts. They are educational and I know I will be seeing results when I apply these new skills.

  • Wow, Mark…

    Bullseye (again). I have failed to realize that I use exclusionary words in ALL my daily dealings…family, friends and, alas, …prospects. It’s insidious and totally unintentional yet I can clearly see that all those neurons comprising the subconscious fixate on the subtle “no messages” that are distilled from the otherwise innocuous word pattern(s).

    Thanks for that and know that from today on, I will be having ONLY positive things to say…not positive things expressed by unintentionally negative words.

    Hopefully…as this becomes habit (do I really have to “wait” 30 days for the habit to form?)…the number of “no’s” I hear (in all my daily exchanges) will diminish to the point of virtual elimination!

    Again…thanks for another brilliant lesson.

  • Wow Mark So simple, yet so profound.

    I’m gonna watch myself for any Exclusion words coming out of my mouth. So easy to replace them with Inclusion words and enjoy watching the expressions on people’s faces.

    Thanks a bunch. Wilma from Colorado

  • Thanks for the post, Mark.
    There was a study recently that showed that it takes more work to be positive than to be negative. As you are showing in your writings today, there is a skill to it. I intentionally write my emails always with a positive thought, too. Being aware of the words we use whether speaking them or writing them, helps to influence people for the greater good, and keeps the brain functioning in a positive way, too.

  • Brilliant! Subtle, yet extremely powerful. Easy to change, easy to forget, too. It’s another habit I’ll create! Thanks for your expertise Mark, as always.
    John Cini

  • Wow Mark! Another brilliant post and one so simple to try and change about myself…..I always considered myself one of the positive people in my circle but after reading your words, I realized how many exclusions were in my daily conversations and not even aware I was doing it.
    I just recently added a daily “specific” time of prayer in the morning before exercising and even there , I am recalling exclusion type sentences…..Lots of room for improvement….thanks again!

  • Susie

    I have had the previdge and pleasure of reading many of your emails and you are ALWAYS spot on with ‘inclusion’

    keep growing and keep doing all those good things.

  • PS W.Clement Stone [a Chicago guy as you know] may disagree with you ……he and Hill both believed it is takes far less energy to succeed than to fail…..and to be nice instead of cranky…..

    I guess studies are great because they give a information and choices…..but that is the core of the Master Key Course we’ll be teaching…..where we get past all that good stuff and formulate our own thoughts based on a different perspective…..

    Hope you’re planning on considering applying for a full scholarship….it would be great having you in the class this year

  • Thank you for your kind words…..

    We do get trapped with slang…..like ‘No problem’……but ….. and it is a BIG BUT……it really does make a difference

    and….as an aside……once it starts clicking….we just feel better, get more smiles…pretty cool.

    keep growing
    mark j

  • Prayer is the best…

    Biggest room in my house is the room for improvement and folks like you stopping by helps all of us ‘raise the bar’

    keep growing
    mark j

  • Mark:
    You are ‘right on’ again. It’s amazing how our response, with simple little words, can have such an effect on the outcome.

    For the last couple of years, when someone ask, “How you doing?” I always respond with, “If I were any better, it would be illegal!” The reaction is amazing and guess what it can lead to when they ask, “Wow, how do you do that?”

    Thanks again for all your time and super training.


  • Thank you very much my friend, you are very kind in sharing this useful information with? others…. The details were such a blessing, thanks.

  • This is the second time I’ve read this one Mark.

    I know those who post here are all working to become their Best as I am. I feel safe in posting this.

    One place I’m working on is in response to people who do not understand the Choice I made on my Wellness Journey.

    I say I’m doing great so I feel great about what I’m doing even while enduring extreme physical pain and know it is for My Best Interest long run.
    Others see what doesn’t get done on the Healing days and don’t understand.

    I’ve written many times:
    No one can make me feel inferior or hurt me without my consent. It’s not what others say, it’s what I say to myself when they stop talking.

    It has made a huge difference to me but what other words can I use?
    My own thoughts are to be true to my Journey and Intention for Wellness.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Agape’ O. Darlene Wood

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