Let’s Stop the Dance…
Better yet, let’s not even go to the dance.
The same dance most people go through at that end of the year.
Good thought? Uh-huh…does it work in real life?
You’re kidding, right?
Don’t go…don’t even engage.
Resolutions do not work and none of us need to look honestly past our own history to know that.
We sit and look, the first few years, with great enthusiasm, at the upcoming year. We are optimistic, we really mean to ‘resolve’ to do better. Take off a few pounds, get out of debt, exercise, be a better worker, do better at our home-based business. This type of belief lasts into the late ’20s…maybe even our ’30s.
Then it shifts. Our heart really isn’t in it like it was, eh?
We are really stating preferences, not really making a decision. It, decision, comes from the Latin and what it really means is to cut ourselves off from any other possibility. But, we are not really feeling it and in fact, we kind treat the setting of resolutions as a ritual, not a commitment.
What most people don’t realize is that NOT following through is a habit.
Since we know, someplace in our heart that it probably won’t happen ~ the ‘thing’ we’ve resolved ~ we move mentally to ‘insulate’ ourselves from personal disappointment by softening the language.
I’d like to get out of debt this year…
I’m going to join a health club and see how it goes…
These are not resolutions because we’ve already built in an ‘out’ for them, a way to not hold our feet to the fire.
And, sometime between the 2nd of January and the 30th of January more than 90% of ALL resolutions are gone. 5%+ more are gone in February.
But, we do it every year, make ~ ahem ~ resolutions…with an out.
This dance of picking things we’ve failed at all year or for years…
It’s like wanting to meet someone you’d like to have a meaningful relationship with who doesn’t get drunk…and going to a bar to find ‘him’ or ‘her.’
It simply is a ritual of setting ourselves up for failure and reinforce the habit of breaking our word to ourselves.
It’s why we, each year, soften the commitment.
As the old saying goes, “I’ve got good news and I’ve got some bad news.
The Good News/BadNews Thing
Most people want the bad news first. The bad news is we actually have a chemical addiction to the feelings we get about ourselves when we do fail.
Most resolutions don’t work because who we are remains the same and the ‘resolution’ simply sits on top of that person. Under stress, people do one or more of these 3 things.
- What they like to do
- What they know how to do
- What they are familiar with doing.
Why? Our sense of identity is so important to us that when stress hits, and stress is a fact of life, we’ll do things to make ourselves feel a sense of security. Routine creates the chemical release of what establishes a sense of self.
I love irony.
The irony here is the one thing we don’t want to do is the one thing we must do to feed the chemical addiction we have to re-establish the person we believe we are and the same identity we are trying to alter.
Here is the proof.
The good news is that it is not impossible to break though.
Dreams always follow authentic resolution.
If we want something different we have to do something different is a lie, sort of.
Nice thought but not really accurate.
See, the 2 short clips prove that is impossible unless we become a different person.
The same person is going to do the same thing. We’ve got to ‘be’ different so we can ‘do’ something different consistently and then we’ll have different results.
So while different action is a must our success depends on one thing…changing who are are.
I Found the Answer
After years of failure, we were able to leverage a remarkable document written in 1911 to make the changes within that created changes without. We learned what people were doing and had been doing for decades to generate internal change.
I wanted to live in Kauai in a multi-generational home. Couldn’t do it. Big money years, bad money years…made no difference.
Then I took to study the Master Key System. Bingo… I end up living in Kauai, multi-generational home and lived a moment I’d dreamed of for years. Polihale State Park on Christmas watching the sun come up with the family and the dog.
Turns out the challenge of the Master Keys, let’s face it, change is not easy…is being met by an entire group of people. It’s been fascinating to see the growth and changes in people like Vikki Lawson, Mick Carbo, and Doug Karmuth. You can actually chart their progress over the 13 weeks. Astonishing is an understatement.
The Master Key Course is the missing link to success because it generates that stunning shift within…so the resolutions we make are no longer being implemented by our old self.
Quitting smoking, walking the dog more often or exploding a business are all one and the same.
Empty resolutions of the old self or vital creations a new person.
And the one thing that success in the New Year depends on is the work necessary to make changes within.
Hey Mark, great post. Here is a thought. Instead of making resolutions, make promises to yourself. I think that someone is less likely, to break a promise to themself, than give up on a resolution. What do you think? Also great blog, cool video’s and Happy New Year!!
Thank You For Such Insightful Information. I Am Familiar With This Video About Quantum Physics, But I Know Most People Are Not. I Certainly Agree With The Statements About Interruping Our Thoughts Thru Prayer And Action, To Change The Pattern Of Chemically Addictive Behavior. I Believe Once We Have Some Understanding Of Why We Do The Things We Do, We Can Change. Thank You, For This Encouragement, Mark.