Feelings change results

Leverage Language

We are all familiar in the home-based industry with the word leverage; it’s really the point of the business.

Yet very few people, even the top earners, learn to leverage language.  The problem most MLMers have that are making money is that they are making money!   It closes the mind and most top earners never consider what they may be leaving on the table.

I should know.  I was like that.

The subconscious mind makes all the decisions, on this, there is no argument.  Surprisingly, while there is no argument on this point very few people consider what a profound effect language has in our relationships with reps, customers, and prospects.

Psycho-therapists J. Mitchell Perry maintains, and my experience validates, that words are small objects that have a profound impact on objects they are directed towards… reps, prospects, and customers. Feelings change results.

Inclusion or Exclusion

In studying Perry I discovered there are two modes of speech.

One is inclusion the other is exclusion.

KIds Include, Adults Don’t

For example, ask a kid and the parents, who just walked out of Disney World, how it was and the kid’s response will probably be “It was great!”

Most parents would say, “It wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t a crowded as I expected.”  Or. “The prices were not too steep, really not a bad deal at all.”

The child’s language is the language of inclusion.

He is telling you what is while the parent is telling you what isn’t.  The child’s language is constructive while the parent’s language is constraining.

Perry points out that most adults become habitual users of exclusion language, which is the vocabulary of doubt, absence, equivocation and diminution.

I was stunned as I examined this further because the language of exclusion creates hesitancy, anxiety, and fear, which we all know, is not good for prospects, reps we are trying to coach or customers.

And I mean stunned.

Let’s face it, if we are going to make some money, we need to talk to people.  This is a basic truth and a network marketing skill that is mandatory.  But there is an additional skill that will separate us from frustration and that is our choice of words.

Sales and Enrollments Up

Simply by examining everyday phrases that I used I was shocked to find out how much exclusionary language I used.  Remembering that the subconscious mind makes all the decisions I quickly saw why I was not getting a higher percentage of enrollments for myself and for my teammates.

Could it be that simple?

Shocked at the number of exclusion-type statements

I listened to myself and others for about a week, (horrifying observations!), then simply changed the phrases I used all that time from exclusionary to inclusionary.  Enrollment doubled.  Case Closed.

Someone asks, “How’s it going?”

Do you say,  “I can’t complain.”  Or do you say, “I feel good.”

When a rep says, “Can you do this for me?”  Do you say, “No problem.” Or do you say, “It’s a pleasure.”

Subby Makes the Decisions

When we say “no problem,” we are putting a NO in the person’s mind and we are putting the word PROBLEM in their head.  Remember the subconscious makes all the decisions.  We want them to say yes but we have put both the word “no” and the word “problem” into their subconscious.

By constantly seeding our language with inclusionary statements, even in non-business related situations, this becomes the ‘currency’ of dealing with us, and more people say yes more often to folks who exhibit ‘inclusionary’ language than ‘exclusionary’ language.

Most people say “no problem”…meaning we’ll do it.    But is it exclusionary language and the more inclusionary, the more people will feel included and, subconsciously, being included is what we all want.  Being excluded is what none of us want.

This may seem minor.

Winners use inclusionary language and get more enrollments.

What is minor is the change that we need to make?  What is major is the results that it yields?

Exclusion language, remember, creates hesitancy and anxiety because it’s based on, subconsciously, what isn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, can’t and won’t.

Exclusion language               vs.                    Inclusion language

I can’t complain.                                             I feel good.

I can’t argue with that.                                  I agree.

I couldn’t ask for more.                                 I’m pleased

I don’t see why not.                                        Let’s do it.

No problem                                                      It’s a pleasure.

That’s not bad.                                                That’s good.

That’s not what I am saying.                       Here’s what I’m saying.

The Bottom Line

W. Clement Stone, the man who made Napoleon Hill rich and “Think and Grow Rich” famous, preached that it was little hinges that swung open big doors.  These tiny changes in vocabulary have an enormous impact on the subconscious mind of the people you are trying to influence.  The extended benefit is they’ll have an equally enormous impact on you.



People want to be a part of something bigger …feeling included is bigger.   Make your language inclusionary so your words, their subconscious and what you are offering are aligned.


Mark Januszewski

The World’s Laziest Networker

About the Author

  • Profound observation. Should have immediate effects both in business and in all relationships.

  • Great post that really hits home for me because I often use that phrase “no problem”. It’s really amazing when one thinks how such seemingly minor changes in language can cause better results in all areas of dealing with people.

  • Mark,

    Excellent post. Will be implementing this immediately. (Rather than can’t wait to get this started.)


  • Kind of like- “Please remember” and “Don’t forget”. Good post!

  • So, Mark, what would you replace with the following?

    Why not?
    What the h****?
    What do you have to lose?


  • You have to use you are welcome and my pleasure. You must avoid no problem and do not hesitate because two negative words subconciously cause the other person to think there is a problem and to hesitate.

    Lawrence Bergfeld

  • Mark,

    Wow, simple little changes that have such a powerful and profound affect. I too will ‘audit” my speech and make necessary changes.

  • Thank you so much for your positive suggestions. So many times I have heard some of the same phrases. I read a book called The Four Agreements and this also helps you to change your thought and speech pattens. To me it is the same as putting you brain in gear before your mouth. To be more aware of your wording is part of being respectful for the other party. Thanks again.

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