getting the non-supportive spouse on board


Last week we ran 3 blogs about a couple, a record setter and the non-supportive spouse.

Marty shared her story about how she made an internal decision to ‘show him’ and she did.  She is not your run of the mill gal and it would be unwise to believe that type of determination is average.  Her determination eventually swung the non-supportive spouse into a gung-ho networker.  She’s an exception and if you build your business on exceptions you’ll starve.  Really.

I promised I’d share the key to getting the non-supportive spouse on board.   This is a leadership tip, second to none.

I made the case that there is no such thing as a ‘neutral spouse’…that they have 2 meters running in their heads and when your new distributor is at the limit in time or money, the neutral spouse ain’t neutral anymore.

It’s absolutely foolish to not understand this is a problem and s/he who solves the most problems wins.

I lost a lot of great reps because of two things.

  1. Denial.  I simply denied the problem
  2. No plan to deal with it

The idea that the business is so great and if they don’t have the courage to ‘stand up’  they aren’t going to make it anyway was getting me nowhere.

Best MLM Book Ever Written

Williams’ Book Saves Me

I was lamenting the commonality of this problem when I was at a yard sale one day.  Found a book by A.L. Williams called ‘Pushing Up People

For 25 cents?  Bought it.

Read it in about an hour at a coffee shop.

Williams makes the point about getting the spouse in the corner of the new rep…dead without it.

I buy in, stop losing reps that way and start making more money.  Eureka!

I define a way to deal with the problem and start teaching to my now growing teams.  It works well, I refine it and the problem goes away, 100%.

Turns out there were massive side benefits that I didn’t know with this simple 1-2-3 step formula.

Getting the non-supportive spouse on board

1. Get your new rep to fill out a simple goal statement right away.  Nothing fancy.  Here’s what I’ve used:  simple goal statement.   As they progress you can use a more detailed plan/goal statement but this one works because they are just filling in a couple of blanks and don’t have to think a lot.  Keeps it simple…and you’ve got what you need to make this formula work.    If you create your own, make certain you include how many hours they will work.

2. Once it’s filled out tell them to share it with their family AND let the family know how many hours they’ll be working a week.  AND…make sure you tell them to ‘say and do’ this next.  “But it’s crucial to me to that you know that you come first, so every week I want to make dates with each of you before I talk with the people that are helping me.  Let’s do that now.”

3.  Let your new rep know, in addition to the daily chats you are having that you’ll set up all the support calls/schedule with them on Friday (or pick your own day) and when you set up their schedule ask, “Did you set up times with your family?”

If they have, great…book away!  If not, tell them you understand the delicate balance in homes gets a little out of whack when they start networking AND you want to help them maintain balance so you cannot book times with them until they do it with their families.

Stay loyal to all 3 steps and do not ‘cheat’ a little on step 3 …insist they make dates with family first.  You’ll create trust, goodwill and neutralize the spouse, who is always coming off one date and has another already booked.

They will know you really care about them, becoming more and more coachable, all for doing the simple, right and respectful thing.


mark januszewski

world’s laziest networker

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  • This is so “right on”, Mark! There will be amazing family support as they’ll probably find that they actually have more time together than they did before! Love this!!!

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