Blog   Neutral Spouse? Are You Nuts?

Believing the spouse of your new rep is neutral is the death of a distributorship.  Until I got this through my think head I lost a lot of really good people.  So have you.

One of the greatest lessons I ever learned in network marketing was from Icon A.L. Williams.

If there is any question on your mind about who the greatest networker who ever lived then you just don’t know the numbers.  Apologies to all the self appointed gurus who claim to be making big money.  Sorry boys, we’re all pikers when it comes to Art Williams.

Williams knew there was no such thing as a neutral spouse, those are my words not his.  I am not sure how Art would phrase it but be knew it and he worked to overcome this camophalgized enemy.

Am I saying the wife or husband is your enemy?  No.

Enemy to your business relationship with your new reps.

And, they win.  EVERY TIME.

When you or one of your teammates bring in a new rep a partnership is formed

They supply names.  You supply training and support.  Together you build a group.  We all know this.

The spouse that says, “Well, if you want to do it that’s fine but don’t think I am going to do it.”

Your rep comes back to you and says wifey or hubby isn’t going to work the business but they are behind them. Gimme-a-break.

You are dead meat, roadkill.


That neutral spouse instantly creates 2 gauges.

  1. A Money Gauge
  2. A Time Gauge

In their minds there are a certain amount of dollars that are going to go out and once that number is hit, it’s def-con 5 alarms and your new rep starts making excuses.  Same with time.  Wifey or hubby is now doing something else on THEIR time and once it gets consistent, the one thing we need them to be, if big checks are not coming in, def-con 5 goes off.  Abandon ship or else.

They argue.  Oh, s/he may win a round or two, determine to make it but we all know the outcome.

Williams addressed it by being sensitive to the spouses, inviting them to events and having them meet separately for the entire event. Didn’t try to sell them on business or dreams.  Listened, encouraged bitching, never sold them.

Williams would later explain, read Pushing People Up, you must get the spouse on your side.

Here’s a formula that has worked great for me.

  1. Get rep to write out goals
  2. Tell him/her to have a family meeting
  3. Read the goals to them
  4. Tell them it’s going to take 2 years
  5. It’s going to take about 10 hours a week.
  6. KEY: Make dates with all of them.

It’s point 6 that pays dividends.  I tell them they must do this or I will not work with them.  Here’s what I have them say and do right after going over the first 5 points.

“I really want to make these things happen for all of us but this family is the most important thing to me.  So beginning today we are going to meet every week and I am going to make dates with each of you and we’ll also plan something for the whole family.  Honey, let’s start with you.  How about a movie this weekend?”

After the shock passes, they make the dates.  I make times to do calls with my reps on Friday but I will not do it until they’ve made dates with their families and spouses.

Think about what happens.  Within a week or two the ‘neutral’ spouse is coming off one date and already has another one.  A lot easier to be more than understanding when the rep is building the business.   The Time Gauge stops running against your partnership!  Positive enviroment and ~ BIG PLUS ~ the rep has committed to succeed to the family.  Talk about leverage.  YIKES.

I can tell you, conservatively, over 100 neutral spouses have called me and said, “What did you do to my husband?”  …. “What the hell did you do to my wife’s mind?” ……and they are not complaining.

Is there anything wrong with getting hubby and wifey dating again?  Folks, this is pure magic.


Not sure?  Look, go hug your spouse right now and ask her/him on a date.  Notice the reaction.  Do it a couple of weeks in a row and you’ll become an instant believer.

There are only two types of reps in the world.  The type of rep who is in total denial about the effect a spouse can have and they type of rep who knows they must send a pre-emtive strike and get the spouse on board mentally.  You just have to decide which group you want to be in.

The BIG money comes and is secure if we are in service.  Make your first service with new reps a service to their life and family.


mark januszewski

world’s laziest networker

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